Divorce is a very serious situation and nobody should get through it alone. Divorce guide Get prepared. Do your research and interview several lawyers through referrals and try to find one you feel comfortable with. Get a therapist or a life coach, take up yoga, and make sure your accountant is available to help you. Then let your lawyer work for you and protect you. Turn off from the divorce process at night and on the weekends and focus on things that make you happy and that you’re grateful for instead.
It will help if you try to keep things as normal as possible in your life. Do not skip meals or change sleeping habits. Positive routines like using your to-do list and calendar will help you keep focus. Exercise is always a great way to relieve stress. Try not to isolate yourself from your friends. Try to maintain a positive outlook and do not let yourself be lured into needless conflicts with your spouse. You will need his signature on a settlement agreement before your divorce is over. You will still be parents together for years after the divorce. Take it one day at a time. Focus on the present and not the past. Try to control only those things within your control. Many things in a divorce are outside of your control but you cannot blow those things out of proportion. Make a plan and work on it. That is how you will take control of your divorce and not let it take control of you.
People who treat their divorce like a business transaction, and to the extent possible, control their emotions so their decisions are based on their best interests and not their hurt feelings, fare much better. For instance, some people might argue endlessly over values of certain assets, when in reality, if they just compromised they would save in attorney’s fees and time. Sometimes people do prioritize what is most important and spend time and energy arguing over assets that might not have a significant value while ignoring the more valuable parts of the marital estate. Sometimes people get hung up over how something is characterized — for example, they might agree to a one-time cash payment to their spouse but balk if that same payment is labeled “attorney’s fees.” Taking a step back, looking at the big picture, and understanding the cost of fighting as well as potential risks and rewards will serve anyone well during a divorce.
This is a very bad idea for two reasons. First, except in extremely egregious cases, most courts won’t punish your spouse financially for being a bad person. Second, hiring an attorney to punish your spouse will cost you because your attorney will need to increase the number of hours spent on your case. Increased attorney hours means higher divorce costs, and higher divorce costs means there will be fewer assets and cash left for you and your family. Try to take the emotion out of your divorce, and treat your case as a business arrangement. The best revenge is to live well after the divorce is over.
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